Redefining Resilience | Volume 1, Edition 19

This week in Lead Anew: Insights & Growth, I explore what it really means to be resilient. It is not about pushing through at all costs, but about bending, pausing, and rising again in a healthier way. Resilience is rest, adaptability, and the courage to honor our limits instead of ignoring them. As I celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary this week with my husband on the coast of North Carolina, I was reminded how essential the pauses and resets are. Sometimes the most resilient choice we can make is to step away, restore, and return renewed.

When people talk about resilience, the image often painted is of sheer toughness. The person who never breaks. The leader who keeps going no matter what. The worker who pushes through, no matter how heavy the load. That version of resilience is celebrated in our culture. It sounds heroic. But it is not sustainable. And honestly, it is not real resilience.

True resilience is not about refusing to bend. It is about knowing when and how to bend, when to reset, and how to rise again, not the same as before, but wiser, softer, and stronger in a new way.

For much of my career, I confused resilience with endurance. I wore exhaustion like a badge of honor. I believed being resilient meant never showing weakness, never slowing down, and never admitting that something was too heavy. But here is the truth: pushing through may get you past the finish line in the short term, but it costs you in the long term. The body breaks down. The mind burns out. The joy disappears. What looks like strength is often quiet depletion. When resilience is defined only as “keep going,” people suffer in silence. Leaders burn out. Teams fracture. Families strain.

Resilience, at its core, is adaptability. It is not about never falling down. It is about learning how to rise differently. Think of bamboo in a storm. It bends. It sways. It looks fragile. But it survives where rigid trees crack. That is resilience. Resilience says: I will pause when I need to. I will rest when I am depleted. I will adapt when the old way no longer works. I will rise again, changed but still standing.

I learned this lesson the hard way in healthcare leadership. There were seasons when the pace was relentless. Long hours, constant crises, and endless demands. I told myself resilience meant never slowing down. But eventually, I hit the wall. My body was tired. My patience was short. My creativity was gone. That is when I realized resilience was not about ignoring limits. It was about honoring them. Once I began to rest, delegate, and reset, I discovered a deeper resilience, the kind that sustains rather than drains. That shift saved me, and it reshaped how I lead.

Real resilience is not loud. It is steady. It shows up in ways that are often overlooked. Resilience is resting when your body asks for it. Rest is not weakness. It is restoration. Resilience is asking for help. Admitting you cannot carry it all is not failure. It is courage. Resilience is changing direction. Sometimes resilience means ending what no longer works and beginning again. Resilience is staying soft. Not letting hardship harden you completely, but allowing it to deepen your compassion.

In leadership, resilience is often misinterpreted as “never let them see you sweat.” But teams do not need leaders who are untouchable. They need leaders who model how to bend without breaking, how to pause without quitting, and how to reset without shame. When leaders show vulnerability, it gives their teams permission to be human. When leaders model rest, it creates healthier cultures. When leaders redefine resilience, everyone benefits.

I once worked with a nurse who had been through more than most of us could imagine. Losses, health scares, personal challenges, all while showing up for her patients every day. At first, I thought her resilience was in her ability to keep going no matter what. But when I looked closer, I realized her resilience was in her honesty. She admitted when she needed time off. She asked for support. She laughed even on the hardest days. She did not hide her humanity, she embraced it. That is what made her resilient. She reminded me that resilience is not about appearing unbreakable. It is about being real, and still rising.

In our second season, resilience takes on new meaning. We no longer have the energy to live in constant “push through” mode. And we do not want to. Midlife is the time to redefine resilience in ways that honor sustainability, wisdom, and health. Resilience now means knowing when to let go, when to shift gears, and when to care for ourselves as fiercely as we care for others. It means respecting the limits of our bodies and minds, and trusting that rest is part of growth.

This week, consider these questions: Where in your life have you been confusing resilience with endurance? What does resilience look like for you in this season of life? Where could you bend, reset, or adapt instead of pushing through? Write your answers down. Sometimes the act of reflection itself is resilience.

Resilience is not about pushing through. It is about rising differently. Pushing past your limits is not strength. Honoring them is. Rest, vulnerability, and adaptability are all forms of resilience. Leadership resilience models humanity, not perfection. In your second season, resilience must shift from “keep going” to “keep growing.”

Life will always hand us storms. The measure of resilience is not whether we avoid them or power through them. It is how we move within them. So let yourself bend. Let yourself reset. Let yourself rise again, not as the same person, but as the wiser, deeper, stronger version of yourself that only resilience could create.

✨ Until next time, may you lead anew with resilience that restores, not depletes. 

www.leadanewwithkim.mykajabi.com

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