Gold Stars and Grown-Up Goals | Volume 1, Edition 8

In this edition of Lead Anew: Insights and Growth, I revisit the allure of gold stars and explore how the pursuit of them has evolved with age, experience, and a healthy appreciation for elastic waistbands. This edition is for anyone who has transcended the superficial pursuit of glitz and glamour, embracing a more meaningful and sustainable definition of success. In second grade, success was straightforward. A gold star on a spelling test, a smiley face from the teacher, or a spot in line for recess, these were the validations I craved. And let’s be honest, I still appreciate stickers. Who doesn’t? However, somewhere along the way, those gold stars were replaced with performance reviews, job titles, and endless expectations. They lost their shine and became a source of exhaustion.

I spent years chasing success that seemed impressive on paper, promotions, perfect attendance, and a résumé that sounded impressive at conferences. But there were moments, quiet ones, often late at night, when I realized I was collecting achievements without feeling fulfilled. I had traded peace for productivity, and it was evident.

Now, in my second season, success has taken on a new form. It sounds like silence after a long day, like meaningful work rather than busy work. And it definitely wears pants that stretch. I’m no longer driven by applause; I’m driven by alignment with my values, my purpose, and the version of myself that doesn’t need to prove anything but contribute something meaningful.

That doesn’t mean I’ve lost my ambition. It means my ambition has matured. I crave impact more than praise, connection more than recognition. I want to be known not for my rapid ascent but for my deep care. And the truth is, I find greater joy now in mentoring others and witnessing a team thrive than I ever did in chasing solo wins.

Letting go of external validation doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes, I still catch myself waiting for a pat on the back or a “well done” from the crowd. But then I remember, 

I’m not leading for applause; I’m leading for legacy. And that kind of success is harder to measure but infinitely more meaningful.

So, these days, when I check in with myself, I don’t ask, Did I impress anyone today? Instead, I ask, Did I show up fully? Did I make something better? Did I take care of myself while taking care of others? That’s the new standard, the grown-up gold star.

Instead of relying on a sticker chart, cultivate self-trust. Redefine success based on its emotional impact rather than its external appearance and continue leading anew with renewed purpose.

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